I am a bit amused when I see restaurants with advertisements that brag about having food that is just like your mom used to make. I wonder about people that grew up with mothers that were horrible cooks. Parents that made food that was not tasty. Yuck.
What about those people?
Other myths
The notion that your mother was a loving, caring person. Someone that loves you no matter what. Let’s not forget the father myths out there. I’m old enough to have grown up with television shows that represented fathers as strong, in control and yet compassionate and caring people.
I have been involved in homeless ministries and can tell you that not all parents are the model we’d all want to emulate. Life gets in the way, and people are broken. People get divorced, and children get ignored. They end up in shelters. Or worse.
Family nudges
Mom’s good home cooking and loving families. Supportive, caring and generous parents. Never wanting for food or clothing. Fashionable clothing. Vacations with the family. Pleasant memories. An extended family that was nearby and fun to be with. A bedroom you didn’t need to share with a winey brother or sister. No chores to do. An allowance that allowed you to buy whatever you want. Nice. Nudging you to certain expectations.
Keep on dreaming
What if it wasn’t good? What if your family was not helpful, supportive or present? What if your family wasn’t perfect? What if your parents yelled at each other? What if you didn’t have a father living with you? What if your grandmother raised you? An abusive relative?
Are you listening?
Can you hear me now?
Everyone’s talking at you. And they always will. Every second of your life. Other voices from other people. People in your family. Voices in your head.
You get to decide; You get to choose what to listen to.
The challenge is from an early age many words are aimed at you. Since your brain is wired to be lazy, after a while, you don’t need to hear everything your parents are saying.
They begin to sound like, yadda, yadda, yadda. Or that teacher’s voice in the Charlie Brown cartoons.
No need to listen. They will always follow the same pattern.
The challenge is to be able to ask new questions today. Questions that nudge you differently.
Nudge: What family member nudged you the most?
Nudge, nudge: What family member did you nudge the most?