Original Publication Date: October 4, 2016

Exercise three times a week. Mix cardio and strength training. Eat a balanced diet. Not too much red meat. No processed sugar. No added salt. No caffeine. No alcohol. Have a budget for your money. Review your will annually. Make sure you have life insurance to protect your family. Auto and home insurance are a must. Review your insurance policies annually. Have good health coverage. Have an annual physical. Check your eyes. Visit the dentist.

And

If you’re married, have a regular date night. Use the correct love language. Remember to brush your teeth and floss daily. Maybe twice a day. Love your children for who they are, not for what they do. Be a good parent. Be a good son. Be a good husband. Don’t look at other women. Be a friend. Follow the Ten Commandments. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Tithe. Go green. Recycle. Have a smaller carbon footprint. Vote. Be politically active. Be a concerned citizen. Do acts of random kindness. Volunteer.

And

Plan your career. Be assertive. Don’t be a jerk. Ask for a raise. Start your own business. Be an entrepreneur. Don’t be selfish. Give to charities. Create a balanced life. Plan for the future. Live for today. Seize a carp. Keep the main thing the main thing. Keep your priorities straight. Honor your core values. Stay in touch with friends. Have close friends. Celebrate birthdays. Attend weddings. Mow the lawn. Pull the weeds. Don’t compare yourself. Have greener grass than the neighbors. Earn more. Save more. Spend less. Retire early. Learn everything you need to know in kindergarten.

And

Above all else, eat your broccoli!

Whew.

At one time or another, all of the above directives were directed at me. It’s all just common-sense, they say. You will have your list of nudges. If you think about nudges for long enough, you will be able to identify hundreds of nudges that have moved your life. You may get a bit discouraged when you realize that a majority of the nudges came from others. For me, the biggest nudge, from the world, was this advice about living my life:

Simply live a balanced, intentional, loving, inspired and rich life!

Isn’t that what they say?

I want to live a wonderful life. For me, it seems hard to do. Feels like a lot of work.

Maybe I’m an anomaly, but I don’t want a difficult life. A life I don’t enjoy. Where I dread getting up. A life that’s hard. Living in a world, I don’t understand. Living a life, I don’t understand. Feeling helpless. Wanting to change and not having a clue how to change. Pretending to be someone else because of others’ expectations. Wanting to please others.

Nudges, they’re all around us.

If we’re alive, we’re being nudged. Sometimes by others, sometimes by ourselves. Sometimes we’re aware of the nudge; sometimes we’re oblivious to the nudge. And, no matter what, a nudge will affect us. Even if we don’t know, we’re being nudged. Even if we don’t believe it!

Think about gravity. You can’t see gravity. All you can do is to experience gravity and if you jump off of a ten story building you will be pulled towards the earth according to physical laws. Your speed will increase according to well-known and documented mathematical equations.

At the end of your fall, you will go splat! You will impact the ground according to the laws of physics. Give any high school physics student your weight and the height of the building and they can tell you how long your fatal journey will take and the speed you’ll hit the ground. This is not a theory of what will happen when you jump off a building. It is the reality you are in.

And so it is with nudges.

Nudges will happen. No matter what.

The first thing I needed to do was to acknowledge that I was being pushed around. I was being nudged into behaviors, jobs, and relationships that didn’t feel wonderful. The realization that this was happening was a bit frightening. Wanting to change and not having a clue about how to make lasting change.

Nudges.

That was the missing piece. I was being nudged to look at how I was nudged by others. I began to look at what a nudge was and why I would allow others to nudge me.

The journey begins.

Nudge: Where have you pushed others in the last 24 hours?

Nudge, nudge: Where have you allowed others to push you in the last 24 hours?